“Just because we have retained no historical artifacts does not mean we are without culture.”

Dear Students,

Welcome to PAU—Post-Apocalyptic University. It is our sincerest desire to ensure you get the education you need to not only sustain and repopulate the human species, but to do so while avoiding all the mistakes our ancestors made that created the mess we currently find ourselves in. At PAU, you will learn to avoid forming systems of power and authority that are susceptible to corruption; to live off the barren landscape, no matter how little it provides; and to live with the end in mind (if, by the “end,” you mean the beginning).

You may select from any of the courses below, but please keep in mind that, as we only have three people qualified and available to teach on these subjects, you may not receive your first, second, third or, well, any of your top choices. Classes will be offered on an as-possible basis in between our existing duties of keeping everyone alive, fending off enemy attacks and establishing a post-post-post-modern civilization. Thank you for your understanding.

Humanities

History of Prepping: Why You Are Even Here

It was not by chance that those of us who survived the apocalypse made it out alive. The probability of existence in the post-apocalyptic world is directly correlated with how well one prepped before the Great Disaster was upon us. Find out what your ancestors did to survive so you can honour them by getting your act together before the Next One.

Arts, Media and Culture

Safe and Sound: Music from the Underground Bunker

Just because we have retained no historical artifacts does not mean we are without culture.

Several residents of the Underground Bunker have turned everyday objects into musical instruments and formed a band called Can’t Hold Us Down, which will perform and explicate all the songs they remember.

Sciences

Biodiversity: What It Was and Why It Was Useful

Before the Great Disaster, a tremendous number of plant and animal species inhabited the Earth. Then humans destroyed them, resulting in the homogeneous landscape you’re more familiar with. In this class, we’ll explore the importance of biodiversity and discuss methods of restoring diverse ecosystems, such as the reintroduction of apex predators into particular environments.

Re-creation

Repopulation Nation: We’ve Got Work to Do

It may seem difficult to believe, but there were more than eight billion people on Earth less than a generation ago. There are now fewer than a thousand. It doesn’t take a math degree to see that we have our work cut out for us in restoring our species’ population to anywhere near its former heights. This class breaks down into concrete terms the strategies that will get us there.

Business

Ethics vs. Economics: What We Got Wrong the First Time

The previous civilization struggled endlessly with the issue of whether to “do the right thing” or “do the thing that will give us the most money.” We all know how well that went. Fortunately, we no longer have to worry about that, as our new civilization is not, and will not be, grounded in traditional capitalism. In this class, you’ll brainstorm new, more ethical economic models designed to avoid the trappings your ancestors constantly fell prey to. Fun fact: the best models you develop will be put into practice in the real world.

Required Course for All Degree Seekers

Human Flourishing: Living the Good Life vs. Simply Living

Ancient human civilizations debated at length what it meant to live the good life, as though simply being alive were not good enough. Was the good life to be found in morality? Wealth? Meaningful relationships? Living out one’s highest purpose? We admit we’re not really sure. From what we can tell, the best life is the one where you wake up every day and realize you’ve survived another night. We’ll explore these and other pertinent philosophical questions with the wider community in this mandatory course.