Love is amazing, right? The joy, the nerves, everything that comes with it brings marvel to our hearts. But why is the holiday dedicated to love all about consumption? With 27.5 billion dollars spent on Valentine’s Day last year in the United States alone, one inevitably wonders whether the holiday has completely lost its original meaning.

While gifts can show love, Valentine’s Day takes it to a different level. Florists are swarmed with bookings. Supermarkets fill with themed chocolates. Jewelry advertisements promise that diamonds prove devotion. Restaurants charge premium prices. The marketing is relentless, suggesting that without the right gift, your affection is somehow insufficient. A dozen roses that cost $30 in January suddenly cost $80 in February.

From movie screens to phone screens, this is all we see during the season: a constant parade of advertisements telling us how much love is worth and how much one should spend. Consumerism and performance gather together to concoct the scheme.

But Valentine’s Day was not always like this. The holiday originated with the legend of St. Valentine, a third-century Roman priest who defied Emperor Claudius II’s ban on marriages for young soldiers. It is said that Valentine continued performing secret wedding ceremonies for young couples in love. Allegedly, when his defiance was discovered, he was executed on February 14. His act was one of resistance against an empire that sought to control human relationships for its own purposes.

Although it is easy to forget amidst all the consumerism, love continues to be the same resistance as the legend of St. Valentine. It is the resistance of those who choose to connect in an increasingly disconnected world, and ultimately the resistance Jesus leads us to. Christ’s command to love one another was radical precisely because it required nothing but ourselves. It demanded sacrifice, presence and authentic care, not transactions.

We are in this world to love each other, but loving does not have to mean consuming. Consumption ultimately depletes us. We reach the point of no return when we spend beyond our means to impress someone, when the expensive dinner does not fix the underlying disconnection, when we have confused the symbol for the substance.

This Valentine’s Day, we can choose differently. We can resist the cultural pressure to perform love through consumption and instead practice the kind of love that shows up, that listens, that serves. That is the resistance love has always been.