Cami Lavender’s Advice Corner

With the help of the lovely Mars’ Hill team, I received a list of questions from the TWU student body asking for some kind of advice. I am Cami Lavender, and welcome back to Cami Lavender’s Advice Corner!

From: Desperate

There’s a really cute girl in my RELS class: how do I ask her out? God told me that she is my future wife.

Method proven to never fail: write a poem on some poster boards, get your best Bluetooth speaker and approach your crush in a public setting of some kind. The location is the most important part of this approach. The more bystanders present to witness your grand gesture, the better. Trust me. 

This is the next step: play your song and proudly display your poem to your crush. While I won’t dictate the content of your poem, I would recommend ending it with “a call to action,” something that encourages a response from your wife-to-be. Something like, “Will you be my girlfriend?” I’m sure your RELS girl will love the opportunity to get all the attention. This puts you in a perfect position to win her over.

From: CoCo Puffs

What do I do if my boyfriend just farts wayyyy too much? They’re also silent which makes it 10 times worse.

Perhaps I can relieve your situation with a few suggestions. What follows will be five suggestions varying in drasticness. 

1. Put him on a vegetarian diet, girlie! According to my biology assistant, a vegetarian diet may lead to a reduction of the chemicals that make farts smell. Over time, the microbiome inside your boyfriend’s gut will change and will lead to less noticeable acts of flatulence. Although my biology assistant states that for some, the vegetarian diet causes one to pass gas more. So, consider the trade-off before taking this action. 

2. Dump him? 

3. Make him promise to warn you from henceforth. Better yet, write up a binding contract. You deserve the courtesy of a siren so that you may prepare for the chemical bomb. This may compensate for your boyfriend’s silent cheek-slapping style, as there is no audible cue for you to make your escape. This will not stop the farting, but at least you are legally protected from any crop-dusting henceforth.

4. Fart back. If all else fails, fight flatulence with flatulence. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Deliver a mighty blow to his morale by serving a taste of his own medicine. Establish dominance by defeating your boyfriend at his own game. 

From: Miss Marmalade

I have trouble making friends. What would be your top three suggestions to help me?

Put yourself into situations that force repetition. Classes at TWU are one example: try joining a club, volunteering somewhere or visiting the collegium/atrium at the same time every day. Try to step out of your comfort zone if you can, do something strange—something you never considered. By doing this, you will be in regular contact with a group of people. The key here is consistency; friendships are built brick by brick. With moments of vulnerability and kindness over time, a friendship can bloom.

Be the one to take the next step, to push the interaction one step further. Keep the stakes low, but extend an opportunity. Invite someone to join you for coffee after class, sit together at the cafeteria, whatever. This can be super intimidating, but more often than not, it’s worth overcoming the feeling of discomfort. Good friendships form when someone takes that chance, and that could be you. 

Ask good questions and listen like you mean it. Forget the generic icebreakers, and really dig for something more interesting. Everyone is unique, and how you approach a friendship will be different each time. So, listen well. If a friend is worried about an exam, excited for a holiday or heartbroken, be the friend who can follow up and ask about how they are doing. 

Thank you so much to the mysterious strangers who submitted these questions, and thank you for reading! If you’ve got something on your mind for next time, send it my way!